With eyes like the sea after a storm

Remember that awesome quote in Princess Bride, when Buttercup is describing her true love Wesley? "A Farm Boy. Poor. Poor and Perfect. With eyes like the sea after a storm."

I just love that. The sea after a storm. The sea is gray, blue and purple after a storm, exactly the color of James's eyes. I know James's eyes won't stay this color, baby eyes are blueish when they are born and change over the next months to finally land on their final color around six months old.

But for now, James's eyes are the color of the sea. Dark blueish, purplish, grayish. Just like the sea after a storm. They are beautiful.

And two side notes-

One- Today is James two week birthday! He's been here for two of the most amazing weeks of life. We visited the doc today and she said the most wonderful words a doc can say: "he's perfect."

Two- Isn't it funny that the photo I used in this post actually looks a ton like my little man? I guess I knew, in a way, that I had a dark haired man.

St. Nicholas Day Tea

Each year E's family kicks off the holiday season with high tea on December 6th, St. Nicholas Day. I love this tradition, because not only is high tea one of my favorite things ever, but kicking off the holidays at the beginning of December also counts towards one of my favorite things.

James, was of course, the star of the show, however Chelsea's sticky toffee pudding easily took second place.

Now that I'm two weeks into being a mother (yes! James has been here from almost two weeks!), I'm feeling more energetic, more confident, and more sure of my mothering abilities. And, I'm kind of sleeping at night, which is always a plus. So, now, after two weeks, I feel like I can truly relax and enjoy the season.

Can't wait for all the fun things to come. Happy St. Nicholas Day!

One of my goals of motherhood is to actually get photos of me with the baby. So far I've been doing a really good job. Now I just need to get some photos of E, myself and James together. I'm not sure there has been a family photo yet...
James's first tea. Happy man.
And the table. Doesn't everything look divine?

Few more of my favorite photos

If you're not into lots of photos, you're reading the wrong blog. Now that I have the most adorable model the world has to offer, this blog is going into photo overdrive. Never is my camera far away, and it seems like I'm always reaching for it. I don't ever want to forget how little this guy is. He's adorable.

James in one of his polar bear outfits sleeping in front of the Christmas tree.
In the last few days James has realized he can stretch out, no longer is he in utero, and no longer do I swaddle him during the day. He loves his new found freedom, and sometimes sleeps with an arm or leg extended into the air.
His hands are so small. The other day I was looking at his fingers, and looking at his ring finger on his left hand. I told him there will one day be a ring there, and I hope whoever he finds makes him truly truly happy, as his Daddy has done for me. As you can imagine, this brought on an entire wave of tears. But it's true, one day James will make someone (other than his teary Mother) really happy.
I just love his hands.
Kiss.
After nursing him this morning James was pulling all sorts of faces. He seems to grin a lot when he's in this half sleep state, so I grabbed my camera, and I caught one! Not only did I capture a closed mouth elf grin, but I caught a full-on open mouthed grin! Yea me! And the last one totally crack me up. I rolled him on his back to see if he wanted to smile anymore. He looks a little perturbed that I have my camera out, again.

Looking back: Thanksgiving

I was hoping and wishing three weeks ago that I would be home, with baby on boob, by Thanksgiving. My wish was granted, and I got discharged from the hospital on Thanksgiving morning.

On Thanksgiving, as I mentioned, we went over to E's family's house and had a fantastic dinner. It is amazing how much I was able to eat, now that there is room in my abdomen again. James was angelic, sleeping the entire time and letting E's family pass him around.

Then on Sunday mom Mom hosted a Thanksgiving dinner. It was so fun to have the dinners on separate nights, this is the first time this has happened, and so for the first time ever E and I were able to eat to our heart's content at each meal.

James, again was angelic, until dinner started. Then he started to fuss, and didn't want to be put down. So I held him, while eating, for the first time. Since then, he's decided that he quite likes being held when I'm trying to eat, and has needed to be either bounced or nursed during most meals since.

After dinner and a quick nursing at my mom's, James was again happy to be passed from person to person. My aunt, uncle and cousin had yet to meet him, so they were thrilled to finally get to hold him and kiss him.

Love Thanksgiving. So so much to be thankful for.

James found it wonderful to be held through dinner. I was still able to eat, and miraculously, didn't spill on my little human napkin!
My mom's kitty Ivan is so curious and sweet. He always wants to be in the middle of everything, including meeting the baby.
I wasn't sure if James would arrive before Thanksgiving, and then when he did, I realized he needed a Thanksgiving outfit. I sent my mother-in-law, Connie, on the very important task the day before the holiday. She, luckily, was able to find a little "Thanksgiving Rocks" outfit.
Uncle Mike and Aunt Laura meet the little guy.
As well as my cousin Kendra.

The grin

The experts say babies can't smile for four to six weeks. Well they've got it wrong. James has been grinning since day 1, really. Sometimes he does this huge open mouth grin that just melts your heart, sometimes he does a closed mouth grin that makes him look like a little elf. Every time he is grinning we run for the camera (unless it is the middle of the night, which also seems to be a favorite time to show off his smiles) and usually we miss the best grins on film.

But we did catch one the other day. This is one of his closed mouth grins, I think like he looks like a little elf.
And here are some of his other famous looks that we captured while trying to get him to smile again:


We've been pulling the camera out every chance we get. James is going to only be this little for a short amount of time, and we want to capture everything. Here are some of my favorites over the last few days -

I adore this photo. We set up the Christmas tree over the last few days and showed it to James. He was quite impressed.
The next four photos were taken all within ten seconds of each other. These are in order too.

"My name is James" says the little man.
"And I'm going to cry! This is my classic I'm going to cry face"
"Ha! Faked you out! No tears yet!"
"Back to sleep"
And this I snapped over the edge of his crib two mornings ago. I swear he's smiling.

He's growing up too fast

Already I can see changes in James, he is no longer just a few days old, today is his one week birthday. I am sad and happy by this fact, yes, he is still a newborn, but the week has slipped away too quickly. I am trying to enjoy every moment with Baby James, and notice all there is to see. In the last week he's lost the little crease to his chin, and over the last day or so he's decided that he'd rather be swaddled with his legs stretched out instead of bunched up, like he was in the womb. When I feed him he loves to stretch his legs, which means, I guess he's happy he's no longer in those cramped quarters. But it makes me sad, to know, he will never ever be this little again.

Oh no, and here come the tears...

Snapped these today. Isn't he so handsome?

Labor story: part 3

I wanted to type up the last of my labor story before I forget the details. Besides, part 1 and part 2 were so captivating, I'm sure you are quite excited for part three!

I left off when I was comfortable in bed, 8 cm dilated, and moving along nicely. Within an hour of that post, I could start feeling contractions again, and the pain was growing. I asked to get a booster from the anesthesiologist and soon was totally numb from the waist down.

Around noon the nurses told me I was fully dilated, that my doc was on her way, and that it was time to start pushing. I asked them how to push with muscles I literally could not feel. Everything below my waist was totally and completely dead. They told me to push down with my diaphragm, imagining my muscles in the middle doing all the work.

And then I started to push. Each time a contraction showed up on the screen I pushed with all my might. E held me, counting each time it was time to push. I pushed, and within 15 or so contractions he was there, born at 12:54 pm. I felt no pain, only pure true joy.

The doctor places James on my chest, and I cried. I looked at E and cried and cried. James cried for only a moment, and then, when he was all dried off, he just looked at me when I told him for the first time in his life that I loved him.

Meeting my son for the first time.
As this was happening, the doc as working down below. After all was said and done, my uterus was not clamping down like it should and I was bleeding, a lot. My doc was calm, but kept asking for different coagulant drugs, to help stop the bleeding.

James went to get weighed (7 lbs. 13 oz), measured 20.5" long, and was healthy as can be. Me, on the other hand, had lost way too much blood. I remember thinking when my doctor said I was bleeding "this will make it easier to loose the weight" (sick, I know, but everyone was acting so calm, I didn't realize how much I'd lost).

Once the bleeding stopped and the nurses brought me warm blanket after warm blanket I was told to lie flat, on the bed, and stay still. For the first hour of James's life, I lied in a half-conscience state, while E bonded with his new son. I remember opening my eyes a few times and seeing stars, nothing I'd ever seen before.

Once I had stopped bleeding and all was well with me, my doctor and E give James some love.
After two hours of relaxing and gaining my strength back, we were transferred into the maternity ward. I was told to eat something big, and drink a lot. I snacked on crackers and cookies and ordered a huge meal from the hospital room service. I then held Baby James for the second time in his life. I looked at his beautiful face, his adorable head of hair, and his tiny hands.

I forced E to go to the cafeteria and get a meal, since he hadn't eaten since that morning. Soon visitors were coming to see me. I was super weak, and trying to breast feed for the first time in my entire life, but I was 100% happy. I had a healthy baby, and I was on the mend.

That night a wonderful nurse spend over an hour with me on a one on one breast feeding class. James was catching on slowly. Both of us were brand new at this, and neither of us were very good.

The next day was full of visitors, talks about a transfusion (I decided against it), more breast feeding trial and error, and some of the happiest memories I have so far. The nurses were fantastic, E never left my side, and getting to know my new little son for the first time was beyond wonderful.

Melissa and my Grandma visited on our second day. James was loved by all.
The next morning (Thursday) I checked out with a clean bill of health and headed home with James and E. We all took a nap, relaxed, and then went to E's family's for Thanksgiving dinner. James was perfect, sleeping the entire time, and letting me and E eat a huge feast and really taking in all that we had to be thankful for.

So sleepy, so in love, so anxious

Is being anxious at night part of parenthood? The last few days have flown by with happy memories, a sleepy baby, a loving husband, and accomplishments like getting better and better at nursing. But come nighttime I get so anxious to put James in his crib and go to sleep. Having him sleep in my room is no easier, every sound he makes, or lack there of, sends me into a tailspin or worry. I just hate bedtime. I hope it gets easier.

That said, daytime is wonderful. I can't believe how busy I am. James is a great sleeper, but it seems like there is always something to do. E has taken paternity leave and has been by my side since last week at this time (when I was going into labor!). We've been learning things together, like how to change a dirty diaper, how to bathe a screaming baby, and how to sleep with a newborn in the house.

We've had lots of visitors, went to two Thanksgiving feasts, and set up or Christmas tree over the last few days. Life is wonderful, if it wasn't for those darn anxiety filled nighttime hours.

I snapped this photo of James today with his eyes open, but the lighting was horrible and the colors were all off, but it does look pretty good as a black and white.
And here is one in color. E says James's eyes are "beautimus", I agree.

Little feet

So much love

As I proclaim readily on my blog, I'm not much of a crier. Boy, has that changed. Yes, it is due, I'm sure, to the huge hormone influx that's been going on since giving birth, but boy can I tear up easily now. I think about how much I love my husband and start crying. I think about how much I love my son and tears burst forth. I sing "You are my sunshine" to my crying baby and can't get through the line of "you'll never know dear, how much I love you" and even as I type this blog entry I am boo-hooing like there is no tomorrow. Tears are literally streaming down my face.

There is just so much love in my life right now, I can't seem to keep a cap on it, or my tears. I'm not sad, like postpartum sad, but more happy. So happy that I don't know how else to express it than to cry.

I uploaded a few more photos today and looking at them threw me into a whole new wave of tears.

So much love.

10 things to be the most thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving is a year I will never ever forget. I have so so many things to be thankful for, I am truly so lucky. I will finish up with my birth story later this weekend, but for now, since it is Thanksgiving, I must list the ten things I am most thankful for:

10. Ten perfect fingers and toes.

9. Photos of funny first moments. This was James's first bath. I laugh so much at this. His little hands look like he's a dictator or something.
And someday soon I'm sure I'll not find this photo as hilarious as I do now. James is perfect, a great sleeper and not much of a crier. When he gets going though, it just make me smile, he's just so mad. Love him.
8. Lots and lots of aunties and uncles to love.



7. Great Grandmas that proclaim that James is the cutest baby in the world.
6. The most wonderful caring fantastic husband I can imagine. He was so loving the entire time I was at the hospital. He never left my side, and snuggled and kissed his little son so much.
5. Black mohawks
4. Meeting the big brother and sister.


3. Three Grandpas


2. Two Grandmas

1. And a perfect baby boy. I can not tell you how happy I am to have a healthy little son. I am so so thankful. I love him so much. Happy Thanksgiving.

Announcing James Alexander to the world

Today has been beyond exhausting, don't ask me why I'm still up. But today has also been one of the most wonderful days of my life. I saw E bond with his tiny son, I cried while holding my son for the first time, and I had a pretty easy labor, with less than an hour of pushing!

I have had an amazing day with family, my husband, and my new son. I will type up a more extensive post soon, of course, but for now, I'll leave you with a few photos:

Daddy and baby meet at last.
Mama and James, true true love.
Isn't he wonderful? He has a full head of dark hair!
He is so sweet and little. 7 lbs. 13 oz.
And a total sleepy head. I've had a little bit of a hard time getting him to nurse, he seems to latch on and then promptly falls asleep!