Today you turn six. SIX. At six I can no longer pretend you are a baby. I can no longer pretend you are a toddler, or even a little kid. Being six (and one of the tallest, smartest and biggest kids in your kindergarten class) means you've officially graduated from anything that could be considered small. And the very last of your babyness (your sweet little perfect baby teeth) are loosening and bigger stronger (less straight) teeth are moving in.
James, my dear, I love you so. I try to express it with words and I come to a loss. You still want to hold my hand walking into school, you still smile when you see me, you still want your back scratched every night, and to be tucked in just right before bed. But many things, most things, you are doing yourself.
With each new victory you need me less and less, and it's a bittersweet feeling. Of course I want you to grow and change and become an adult that doesn't need me every single day of their life, but that's going to hurt too. Recently you told me that when you're big you were not moving away, because you'd miss me too much. Because you love me too much. As you were telling me this you started to cry, that the very thought of not seeing me when you wake, kissing you before bed, helping lay out your clothes for the day, was too much to bear.
The thing with that feeling is you'll grow out of it. Before long you'll want your independence. You'll be on your own before I even blink. But that feeling, the feeling of wanting to care for my son will never leave me. You'll need me less and less yet I'll never need you any less than I do now.
I love you my sweet boy. More than you'll ever know. Happiest sixth birthday. I adore you.
Mama (which you still call me, thank goodness!)
It's a rare day I get a photo with these two. Thanks love!
Sometimes I feel like I could just post last October's posts and nobody would be the wiser. We do the same things each October: Lagoon, enjoy leaves, Garden After Dark at Red Butte Garden and visit Thanksgiving Point before their garden closes for the season. And of course Halloween.
So, enjoy some autumn garden goodness.
This kid is suddenly so big! Reading and doing math like a pro. Has his first loose tooth and turning six in just a few weeks.
My favorite spot for a photo every single year. Here is a link of the years previous.
They are both goof balls.
E had just returned from a week away and he misses these kiddos so much. Autumn is difficult because it's his busiest travel season by far.
Last weekend E and I decided to spend the night at the farmhouse. As the kids get older it is easier and easier to get away for an evening without making it a huge production. Plus, the kids love to sleep there. E's parents joined us on Saturday for the afternoon and dinner. The weather was what all October days should be. And after walking down the lane to the barn for 15+ years, I finally saw an owl perching inside. It was so exciting!
E's Father's Day shirt has been worn a ton. James's handwriting on the back is the best part of all. And this girl loves her daddy.
Connie and I went on a evening drive (nobody wanted to join us) but we had a great time.
This year everyone in E's family joined us at Lagoon. Since everyone was there, even Pap Paps (which is what the kids have taken to calling Grandpa Steve) we decided we needed an updated old timey photo.
Every October we visit Lagoon with E's family and every year it is the highlight of the kids entire life. I swear our Lagoon Day competes with Christmas and Hawaii for being the best days of the year. The LOVE it.
This year E and I wanted to ride the new rollercoaster Cannibal first thing. I am more of an adventure seeker than E's entire family combined, so I was super happy E was willing and excited to join me. See that tower? It's almost twenty stories tall (??!!!!) and you ride inside an elevator up a dark elevator shaft while on the coaster. That part was scarier than the rest of the coaster.
After the tower you speed down a beyond vertical drop that almost puts you upside down. Seriously so fun. Luckily for us, the kids went with their grandparents while we waited in the super long line.
After we met back up with everyone we took our kids on all the rides they love. Both kids are huge adventure seekers (like their Mama!) and couldn't wait to go on the scariest rides.
These three girls spent most of the day together. Damma does love her granddaughters. However, truth be told, Damma is a Lagoon-going-feind and the only one that could keep up with her was James. They rode the rollercoaster three times, then ran over to another coaster, then went on the swings, then did it all over again. And she doesn't even mind the dizzy rides which James seems to love, so they did those over and over too. She's a very good Damma.
Lagoon equals two things, way too many rides and way way too much sugar.
James surprised E and requested going on Wicked. Wicked is special because you go up that incline as fast as you fall down the decline. It is intense. He was terrified but did it. I don't think he'll choose to try it again for a few more years.
PERFECT October weather.
Since we haven't taken old timey photos since 2012, I had to go back and compare. James is Emilia's age in this photo (almost exactly) and Juliet! Oh my gosh! Why must they grow up?! Look at her!
The photographer asked us to be serious. Everyone is looking great, but my kids totally steal the show. Juliet's face is perfection.
*Sorry I haven't been blogging as much. New hobbies shift my attention elsewhere, but I'm trying to catch up, even just a little. But if you want to talk Sherlock, I'm your girl. ;)
Yesterday we went to the cabin hoping some leaves would be changing and were overjoyed to find the forest bathed in gold. It wasn't as beautiful as some years in the past, but my gosh, stunning nonetheless.
E and I have been loving our bikes as of late. After our bikes were stollen last week out of our garage (sob!) we were "forced" to upgrade and buy new.
These two play the entire day at the cabin. They like to play in the meadow, take short walks, scramble on rocks and play in the caves I played in as a kid.
Lots and lots of silly faces when I asked for a picture.
The rock field is their favorite. Lots of places to hide and climb.
As the sun dipped lower into the sky the forest turned even more gold.
Lots of silly smiles while daddy danced and sang "Shake Sanora" behind me.
Winter is on its way, but I can't complain when I get this to enjoy beforehand.
One Saturday shortly after James started kindergarten Juliet and I wanted to get out. We were going a little stir crazy and James and E were perfectly content to stay home all day. I told her I'd love to go on a date with her, and where would she like to go. She thought for a minute and said "somewhere old fashioned?" We decided on Gardner Village.
I decided to pull a dress out of her closest that she had yet to wear, and she was so excited. "Oh, I will look so beautiful!"
Shopping with her is such a treat. I actually don't love shopping, but she said "wow look at this!" or "this is so cute!" to practically everything we saw. Every store owner just smiled at her, how could you not?
The doll shop and the candy shop are always must stops.