Traveling dolls: my new hobby

Jess hanging out near a stream that is full with spring run-off.

A traveling doll is a foreign concept to most people. Why tote around a fairly large doll to “see things” and take photos? Well the answer is no other reason than its fun, and I’m a dork.

There are people out there that take a picture of their iPod in front of the Eiffel Tower, or a photo of their favorite hat in China. With me, I’ll take a doll and let them see what I’m seeing. I know, I know, its odd, but it is also fun in a really lame way.

So, I have a travel doll out there (Violet) that I have sent to other doll lovers around the country. She will get to “see” things that I one day hope to see, and do things that I one day hope to do. While Violet is away seeing the world I have hosted two traveling dolls of my own.

Ruthie, a doll from Virginia, came and stayed with me for an entire month. We went to the farmhouse, went to the zoo, and even trekked out to the Great Salt Lake for a photo shoot with E. Ruthie left last weekend, and now I have another travel doll Jess. Yes, this doll is my namesake, and she is a real cutie pie, but I don’t think I’ll buy her for myself.

So far Jess has built a fort in my backyard, gone on a hike, and had a picnic. All of these activities are not lost; however, I take photos along the way to share with their “mom” back home.

No, I’m not crazy, I’m just a kid at heart (or at least what I keep telling myself).

So, I’ve followed Violet across the country and into Canada through photos, and now I am showing the members of my doll group the beauties of Utah through they eyes of a doll. It’s cool, or at least I think so!

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away…

Yesterday E and I went biking and I felt so alive! As we sped along the mountain path I just felt happy. Happy to be alive, happy to be outside, and happy to be able to experience the views, the friendships, and the wind in my face. It was truly a beautiful day. As I looked across the canyon I saw a forest of green and white caped peaks, it was breathtaking. At the end of the trial we were able to look over the entire valley and it was so clear I could see for miles. I even commented to E that it might have been the clearest day I’ve ever seen. It was wonderful.

Today I woke up with a small feeling of dread, what to do at my wedding if my family is driving me nuts. This is my day and instead of looking forward to it, which I do about half the time, I dread it the other half. I wish I could go back a year when I thought my life was perfect.

Moab Moab Moab

Damn it was hot in Moab, really hot, but oh so fun.

E and I left Friday afternoon and we drove down without a problem, still in time for a bike ride. After we met up with our friends, unpacked the car, and set up our tent we decided to go on a little bike ride. I was totally feeling the trial, and I was ripping it up. It was awesome and really beautiful. Mike fell on the way back and hurt his chest, but he ended up being okay.

That night we had chili dogs and beer (I had my sissy beer, as the guys call it) and hung out around the campfire. It was beautiful and clear.

The next morning after cooking an oatmeal breakfast for the troops, we headed to Bartlett Wash for some more biking. All eight of us enjoyed an extremely hot day in the sun on top of a mesa where we biked, hung out, and sweated.

Most of our group had never seen Arches National Park, so after a quick snack in the campground we headed into Moab for Mexican and margaritas. Then we set off to hike in the park, and see Delicate Arch.

The sun was setting and everything was beautiful (but still hot) as we set off towards the famous arch. We chatted and told dirty jokes up the trial, and when we finally got there, we all enjoyed watching the arch in the setting sun.

After some photos and a lot of waiting for Mike and Logan to finish flirting with some girls they met we headed back in the dark. Hiking in the desert at night is something everyone should do once in their life, it was beautiful.

After a great night sleep in the heat of the dessert we woke up, packed up our site, and said goodbye to friends. I drove home dreading the drama from my parents that I knew awaited me.

That's me on the slick rock!

Wedding Woes Part II

I said this over a month ago, and I still believe it’s true, my wedding is more an inconvenience than a celebration, and it really sucks.

Every time I think things are getting better they sink to a new low. My parents are being absolutely brutal with each other, and I’m in the middle. My mom can’t afford the house she moved into without alimony, and my dad doesn’t want to pay it. My mom has no friends, other than her mom and her daughter (me). It’s all pretty sad. She calls me depressed almost daily, and it upsets me so much that I feel like I’m going to be sick.

My grandma is trying her best to support my mom, and help her with everything she needs, which is really wonderful, somebody needs to support her.

My dad pretends everything is okay, but I know he is very hurt, and because of that he is being horrible, and not caring about who he hurts along the way. Tonight he called and said we need to reprint our invites, which we finally just finished last week, after a huge headache over them. He wants my mom’s last name changed back to her maiden name (which she stated she wanted in the divorce papers) and E and I pretty much said “no.”

I’ve grown up knowing my mom as her married name, and she hasn’t raised an issue about it to us. E flipped and was (and still is) super mad. I wish our wedding could be ours, not everyone else’s political agenda.

I guess my dad felt guilty, because he called back and said we could do whatever we wanted. Now I feel more guilty than pleased I got my way. God damn. I wish everyting could be easier.

BINGO

When I was 11 my family visited Park City. Inside Dolly’s Bookstore there were two puppies that needed homes, and of course we fell in love with the little boy puppy that was so happy. My brother and I convinced my mom that we needed a puppy, and this little guy was it. The store owner was very supportive, and told us that these puppies were at a shelter and weren’t getting adopted. They were going to be put down unless they could find homes so she decided to adopt them and sell them at the store. That sealed the deal, and we left with a bouncing happy puppy in our arms.

We decided to name him Bingo. He was the smartest puppy and sweetest dog any of us had ever had. He was also half boarder collie, so he loved to “heard” us around the backyard and drive my parents insane with the paths he would run wearing down the grass.

As Bingo got older he got smarter (if this was possible). You never had to tell him anything twice, and he was so loyal to the entire family. He was also so talented at catching Frisbees and tennis balls. Bingo was one of those dogs that could jump 6 feet in the air and catch anything that was thrown. It was great fun to throw leftovers his way, he never missed a scrap.

This year Bingo turned 14 and started having a harder and harder time walking. He couldn’t hear and we could tell he was in terrible pain. We put Bingy on some pain killers, but it raised havoc on his liver, so we had to discontinue the meds. Over the weekend my dad said Bingo got worse, and he couldn’t even stand and was shaking terribly.

This morning my dad took Bingo in to be put down. I said goodbye to him last night by brushing his belly (his favorite thing) and kissing him on the nose. I miss him already, but after a very sad death with our kitty Boo, it’s refreshing to have a family pet that lives so long. He was an old man. I will miss you Bingy, I love you.