Thursday, May 11, 2006

Wedding Woes Part II

I said this over a month ago, and I still believe it’s true, my wedding is more an inconvenience than a celebration, and it really sucks.

Every time I think things are getting better they sink to a new low. My parents are being absolutely brutal with each other, and I’m in the middle. My mom can’t afford the house she moved into without alimony, and my dad doesn’t want to pay it. My mom has no friends, other than her mom and her daughter (me). It’s all pretty sad. She calls me depressed almost daily, and it upsets me so much that I feel like I’m going to be sick.

My grandma is trying her best to support my mom, and help her with everything she needs, which is really wonderful, somebody needs to support her.

My dad pretends everything is okay, but I know he is very hurt, and because of that he is being horrible, and not caring about who he hurts along the way. Tonight he called and said we need to reprint our invites, which we finally just finished last week, after a huge headache over them. He wants my mom’s last name changed back to her maiden name (which she stated she wanted in the divorce papers) and E and I pretty much said “no.”

I’ve grown up knowing my mom as her married name, and she hasn’t raised an issue about it to us. E flipped and was (and still is) super mad. I wish our wedding could be ours, not everyone else’s political agenda.

I guess my dad felt guilty, because he called back and said we could do whatever we wanted. Now I feel more guilty than pleased I got my way. God damn. I wish everyting could be easier.

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