Thursday, June 22, 2006

Oh dear, I am worried…

Last night I had a terrible dream. I woke up scared that my largest client had not really hired us, and my company couldn’t make ends meet. My boss was wondering why I didn’t realize that the account didn’t close, and everyone thought I was very incompetent. During the night it seemed a lot worse then it does right now, but that is always how dreams are.

Whenever I am worried about something it shows up in my dreams in a very round about way. Last night my family went up Millcreek Canyon to celebrate Father’s Day with my Grandparents and my Aunt and Uncle. We had a great time eating fajitas and a huge fruit salad. After dinner we gathered around the fire and made banana boats (bananas cooked with marshmallows and chocolate) and joked and laughed.

My Grandpa interrupted the stupid joke telling with an announcement, he has not been feeling well. Instantly I got nervous and thought cancer. I could tell from my Grandma’s face that this was serious.

My Grandpa said he has been peeing blood, and quite a bit of it. At first he wasn’t too worried, and kept it a secret from my Grandma. They had a trip to London planned and he didn’t want my Grandma to get worried. In London it got worse, and was very painful. My Grandma insisted that as soon as he gets home to see a doctor.

The doctor thought it might be a bad urinary track infection, and gave him some strong antibiotics. They did nothing. He went back to a specialist and they did a scope and realized he had some lumps inside his bladder, and it was most likely cancer.

I looked around at my family, everyone was so scared. My cousin started to cry, and I wanted to know more. I asked about everything, bladder cancer can be removed, and his x-rays didn’t show that it had spread which is good news. On Monday he’ll go in for surgery to get the lumps removed. After that they can better know what type of cancer it is, and if there will need to be follow-up surgery or chemo.

My Grandpa is old, 78, but one of the most special people in my life. I am so scared for him, and so scared for my Grandma. They care so much for each other; I can’t image what my Grandma must be going through.

Just last Saturday we were all celebrating my upcoming wedding in his garden.

I’ll post when I know more which will hopefully be next week. We are all hoping for the best.

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