Saturday, February 08, 2014

Letter to Juliet, year two


Yesterday I looked at you, not just a passing glance, but I really really looked. I studied. I remembered. I, for the last time, was looking at my baby girl that was one year old.

And today you woke up and you are two.

Yesterday, as I watched you, soaked up your glorious way of being, I kept thinking "this is it; this is what I've dreamt of my entire life. She's standing here, in front of me. She's silly and smart and oh so funny."

My sweet dear, never could I describe how much you mean to me. How much you I love you. Even you won't know the love I hold for you until you have a child of your own. It is earth moving. It is amazing and strong and growing day by day.

There are many things special about you. More than I could ever write in a single letter, so instead of trying to list them all, I will list five things. Five things that make you special and make me love you all the more.

1. Your wonderful growing language. Hearing what you are thinking about and how you interpret the world is what makes two year olds amazing. Hearing what you are thinking about makes my heart swell with pride and ache with hurt. Hurt, you see, because you talk about the time you fell off the bridge. You talk about it daily, sometimes just once, sometimes you need to repeat the story and hear the outcome ("fine") dozens of times before you are satisfied. The heartbreak I feel that you still hold this scary accident so close saddens me, but also letting you talk about it helps both of us so much.

2. Your love for your brother blows me away. The first thing you ask for every day upon waking is "James". You look for him wherever you go, and while you adore tormenting him (and him you) you two are two peas in a pod. I hope you kiss each other on the lips before bed every night, like you do now, for years to come. Neither of you can sleep if you forgot your goodnight kiss.

3. Your schievousness. Schivious will be a world you hear your entire life. It is made up by yours truly, but truly describes the scheming and mischievous nature we both have. Both you and I love to tickle, to chase, to startle Daddy whenever possible. While James may sometimes act mischievous, you and I are both schievous.

4. How you love to get naked before bath time and yell "surprise!" with the biggest smile on your face.

5. Your nurturing nature. James is all boy, so I've only ever know crashing tower games, growling games, and the like. You take such good care of your babies. You rock them to sleep, pat their backs and kiss them again and again. You are going to make an amazing mama one day.

Juliet my dear, I love you more than I have words to ever say. Just thinking about my tender love for you makes me tear up. I hope you always know you are my sunshine. And as I sing to you every night before you go to bed, "you'll never know dear how much I love you,

"please don't take my sunshine away."



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