Halloween {trick-or-treat!}

First off, thank you for all the nice comments, texts, hugs and love regarding Juliet's fall. We are getting better. Things are normal and that is the best news in the world.

I wanted to quickly add a few photos from trick-or-treating. Halloween is such a kid holiday, in the fact that everything about costumes and trick-or-treating is geared to make kids happy.

This year we headed out the door as a family, but soon James caught up with his best buddy and before long they were running from house to house. Juliet couldn't keep up, and I didn't want her to only be told "hurry hurry hurry!" all night, so E and I decided to split up.

James and E went ahead with the big group of neighborhood kids, and Juliet and I took our time in the back. We really took our sweet time. Juliet had to say "hi!" to every pumpkin we passed. She had to fully inspect all decorations and sample many candies along the way.

James ran the entire time, sticking close to his best buddy. It was darling and so quintessential childhood. Halloween was perfect.

 Cute wolfy tail hanging in the back.

She would not let me carry her. She wouldn't let go of her basket and my gosh was that blue sucker amazing.

The day we met our guardian angel

Last Friday was so normal. James had preschool in the morning and we were meeting my brother Brandon in Sugarhouse Park later in the day. Sugarhouse Park this time of year is one of my favorite stops. The cottonwoods the line the river are unreal. Gold and yellow and amazing. And paired with a blue sky, well really there is nothing better.

We played with Brandon, threw a few rocks into the river, looked at the pipe James was obsessing about, and petted a few dogs.

Near the end of the playdate the kids played on the bridge while I chatted with my brother who has been traveling internationally for two months.

I kept my eyes on my children while I heard about Switzerland, Croatia, Thailand and so many in between.

And then I saw it, almost in slow motion. Juliet leaned back against the vertical parallel bars (the bars that I assumed were quite close together) and began to slip. It was almost slow motion. I cried out. I saw her falling backwards threw the bridge, into the rocky river below.

Juliet, with the bridge behind her. See those parallel bars? It didn't even occur to me that she could slip through them. For this, I will never ever live down.

The next minute is a blur. I remember running, falling hard on the river bank in some huge boulders, and snatching my thankfully crying girl out of the river. She was wet, but her face was not under the water.

I thought I would find my baby dead. I can not get that out of mind. I thought her head would hit a rock and I would find blood and death.

This thought brings so much fear and dread and anxiety. Seeing her slipping through those bars was easily the scariest moment of my life so far. And it's ingrained in my head. I close my eyes and see it. I go to the grocery store and replay it, crying in the middle of the pasta aisle.

I scooped up my crying baby who on quick glance wasn't bleeding. I was soaked, since I jumped in the river without a moments notice. James was bawling on the bridge above me. He had seen the entire thing.

I started sobbing. My poor brother had no idea how to help. James needed me, he saw the scariest moment too. Three year olds shouldn't witness such horrors.

Juliet needed me. She was drenched, shaken, hurt, and so so frightened. I needed to know my baby was ok. I just needed to know she was fine.

Back at the car I changed her clothes. I wanted to inspect her body and check get her into something dry and warm.

She seemed ok. For that I was beyond thankful.

On the drive home (where I was in shock) I realized I couldn't take this baby home. She had fallen backwards off a bridge into the rocky stream below.

I drove her strait to the ER.

When I told them upon entering that my baby fell off a bridge I was whisked back, no waiting room for me. A doctor saw us immediately, and E joined us moments later. Thank goodness he was in town. Oh my god, thank goodness.

They brought us to a trauma room where ten doctors joined us to examine. They wanted to make sure she wasn't paralyzed (something that hadn't even crossed my mind) and wanted to make sure her skull was in tact, and she didn't have a brain bleed.

I went from being chipper and fake happy for James (who was standing by my side watching the entire thing) so sobbing uncontrollably.

The only bump she got was this little one on her forehead. I think she fell onto her back, so how she got this, I am unsure.

THANK GOD everything looked ok. They wanted to keep her for six hours for monitoring, and then we could bring her home.

And home we did. I slept on her floor the first night. She needed me. Every time she would lie still the memories would come back to her, and she would start sobbing "Mommy!" And I needed her. I needed to know she was ok. I needed to show her and tell her that I was always always there for her, no matter what.

I needed to prove to her that even though I let her fall (it was my fault. I was watching her. I was responsible. Yes it was a freak accident, but it was MY fault) I would always always be there for her.

The rest of the weekend was a mix of emotions. Lots and lots of crying. Lots and lots of thinking about what I was thankful for. Lots and lots of hugs and kisses and saying "I love you".

James had seen it all and both of us are still working through a lot of post traumatic stress.

We will be ok. After all, Juliet is here, she is with us. Her guardian angel is amazing, because while I am bruised and broken, Juliet doesn't have a scratch on her.

PS - Juliet, this is the second very very scary trip to the ER with you (in three months!). Let's not ever do that again, ok?

Garden After Dark {more Halloween fun}

Last year, for the first time, we attended Garden After Dark at Red Butte Garden. We LOVED it. I vowed right then that we'd make it an annual tradition.

This year we decided not to wear costumes and start the night at Crown Burger. Win win.

Like last year we arrived right at six and began the loop in reverse. See, Garden After Dark is like a big board game for bigger kids. Craft stations that build on each other, clues as you make the way through the garden, and so on.

But our tinys don't really care about clues and crafts. We are here to see the garden and enjoy some of the Halloween decorations. In years to come, they will be more interested in the crafts and the clues, but for now, going backwards means that we have some of our favorites parts of the garden to ourselves for the first half hour.

The thing I was most excited to see was this path through the red leaves. At nightfall the colors look so saturated it's insane. And since it was near the end of the designated loop, we had it to ourselves.

We started walking right before sunset. Most of the garden was already in a blanket of shade, but up the hillside in the four seasons garden there was brilliant orange sunset light.

We took a lot of photos before it got dark, because once dusk fell, there was no hope for a good shot. Thanks E for this one.

These orange leaves on the ground looked spray painted they were so brilliant.

Our favorite forest path was converted into a haunted woods. Just like last year, James LOVED the smoke machine.

Spooky!

Right at dusk, E took the kids ahead while I snapped a few photos . I was alone on the path towards the rose garden when I saw this guy scamper past. I love spotting bunnies in the garden.

Once the sun set the darkness rolled in quickly. James was thrilled to have his flashlight so he "could look for scary things."

Last stop was the main plaza for a carmel apple and spending allowance on a pink fairy wand (James's choice). Can't wait for next year. Red Butte rocks.

Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf

Little Red Riding Hood

The Big Bad Wolf (look how scary he is!)

I've been thinking about doing coordinating Halloween costumes for James and Juliet as long as I can remember (even before having kids). When Juliet was still in my tummy my good friend threw me a Little Red Riding Hood baby shower for her, and ever since then I've had a special affinity to Little Red.

Now, as my mother-in-law and I agree, Little Red Riding Hood is not the perfect story. Once upon a time wolves were portrayed as bad, evil and mean. Really they are like any other wild animal at the top of the food chain. They hunt. But they also have amazing family dynamics, are smart and pretty amazing animals.

Why am I saying all  that about wolves? Because wolves aren't bad at all. They are sweet and tender and stinkin' cute.

And they howl at night! Oooohhhh!

In our story Little Red delivers bread and cookies and treats to the friendly wolf living in the woods. He does not eat her, and no lumberjack is required to cut her free.

And the woods aren't a scary place at all. They are magical.

That wolfy nose can smell those cookies a mile away!

Really, Little Red and the Big Bad Wolf are best friends. That's how the story ends. Oh, and they gorge themselves on cookies. Because Halloween is all about too much sugar, right?

More Halloween goodness to come!

Then & Now

Recently I gave a big bag of beautiful clothes to my sister-in-law Chelsea for her baby girl that is six months old. Sorting through Juliet's clothes is a difficult task, deciding what to keep, what to donate, and what to pass on, well it is hard, because each thing holds memories.

When I came to her purple and white dress, I fretted for quite some time. It had always been a favorite. Juliet wore it on her first Mother's Day, and for her six month photo shoot. It was a gift from my mother-in-law, and was well loved.

Finally I decided to pass it to cousin Emilia. She will love it, and at least it's getting a good home, right?

Anyway, Emilia just turned six months, so I asked Chelsea to take a photo of her in the same dress as Juliet.

It is so fun to compare these first cousins, at the same age, in the same dress.

Then. Juliet, six months, summer 2012.

Now. Emilia six months. October 2013.

Such beautiful girls. And look at Juliet's chub! I miss it.

Garden Park Ward {with my loves}

Over a month ago (September 2nd to be exact) my family of four went to Garden Park Ward in Salt Lake City. We explored the little private garden. We watched the waterfalls with awe. We enjoyed every moment together.

I was so so lucky, that day I got a portrait with each of my children that I adore. I also got a portrait with both of my children at once!

But because Photoshop crashed after I got home, and I lost all my edited photos, I never got around to posting them. Which is a shame, because I love them so.

So here they are. E of course was there too (he was the one snapping the photos) but since I am always behind the camera, it is good for everyone for me to sometimes appear in front of the camera.

I don't ever ever want to let my kids forget that when I'm with them I smile. I am happy. Nothing brings me more crazy joy than raising these two awesome people.

Temple Quarry Trail {Autumn playdate}

There are few things I like doing in the autumn more than visiting Temple Quarry Trail. I've been three or four times just in the last two weeks alone. Each time I go it gets better and better and more and more stunning.

Last Friday I took the kiddo's Halloween photos there, but you'll have to wait for those. (They are amazing!)

Today a couple of girlfriends wanted to walk the loop. I love these friends with kids; they love being outdoors as much as us. Cold? Ah, just put a coat on. ;)

Temple Quarry Trail is always chilly this time of year, it is so close to the north facing mountains, that most the day the area is in the shade. Shade, however, makes the leaves look extra saturated and gives great light for photos.

The little paths have such a magical feel to them. Winding in and out of the woods, decorated in the most beautiful colors of all the year.

We've been friends with these girls for two years. James was Juliet's age when we started playing. They were even at another stunning Temple Quarry Day.

Looking back at these pictures is almost doesn't look real.

This one has been giving me a run for my money. Today she was PISSED. Not sure why. Even at Temple Quarry she spent the majority of her time yelling at me. Thank goodness she looks somewhat happy.

All of James's little buds are so cute.

Playdates are amazing with these ladies and this group of kiddos.

The gate at the beginning of the trail was the highlight of the entire loop in James's mind. I was less than impressed.

However the sign does add a cool element to the photo.

See ya in a few more days, Temple Quarry!

Instagram favorites {autumn color}

I take an insane amount of photos both on my iPhone and my camera. When I snap one on my phone that I especially like, I upload it to Instagram. This happens 1-6 times a day, so to put all of those photos onto my blog would be insane.

That said, if you'd like to see them ALL, follow me on IG @happierstill.

If you only want some of my favorites, than your in luck. Here are a few of my faves over the last two months.

1. Orange reeds near the doctors office make for the best backdrops. 2. Chestnut collecting. 3. My girl.
4. Lollipops at Lagoon 5. Homegrown pumpkins. 6. Happy October!
7. We take a lot of walks with our empty strollers. 8. My snuggle bunny wasn't feeling herself. 9. Her very favorite book with Daddy.

1. My little explorers. 2. Fabric store stop when it's just the two of us (James was in preschool). 3. September light at Red Butte Garden.
4. Raspberries at the Farmer's Market. 5. Dropping crab apples into the river below. 6. September is my very favorite.
7. We took a long walk to a cheerful creek and jumped right in. 8. Temple Quarry Trail is unreal. 9. Evening light at Thanksgiving Point. He was running and I caught his little shadow off the ground.

1. Pile of rocks = hours of fun. 2. Groovy tube. 3. He loves bugs, and they love him.
4. At the doll shop, not sure what to choose. 5. Helping me paint woodwork. 6. Bike practice.
7. Saturday morning hike to Bell's Canyon. 8. Her brand new "cheese" face. 9. Feeding our neighbor goats.

1. Halloween is on the way! 2. Beautiful chestnuts. 3. A Red Butte Garden date with just my girl.
4. Trees are on fire. 5. Red White and Blue! (I think she officially grew out of those red shoes, sob...) 6. Autumn hike
7. Color is something we love. 8. Couple of days cold enough for coats and hats. 9. My snuggle bunny in the woods, being adorable.

As I said, lots lots more on IG.