Letter to James: 1 year

How can I write in a simple letter how much you mean to me? How every day gets better and better? How can I express how much I adore you when the English language does not cover the feelings a Mama has for her son?

I have spent the last 365 days of my life learning how big my heart is. I never ever knew it could hold this much. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. Right about this time a year ago I was blogging, telling everyone that soon you would make your entrance into the world. The thing I was most excited about? Telling you I loved you for the first time in your life.

Now I must tell you over fifty times a day how much I love you. Five minutes don't pass without me saying "I love you" or "you are the greatest" or "I can't imagine life without you."

Today I celebrate and mourn the end of your babyhood. You are a big boy, a toddler. Yes, I feel sad you'll never be a tiny baby again, but I also look forward for each day to come. Every day you learn something new, you amaze me with your optimistic attitude, and you teach me again and again that my heart can hold more love.

Today we will stay inside, since the snow is gently falling outside. We might verdure out to meet Daddy for lunch, but mostly it will be just the two of us. Just the two of us. You acting silly and impressing me with how big you've become, and me looking at you with awe, thinking that there was no way I could ever explain to the woman I was a year ago what a wonderful and fantastic year it has been. For she would simply not understand, her heart had no idea what was yet to come.

Happy first birthday my love. I know your second year will be as amazing and wonderful as your first. I love you, more than you'll ever know.

Mama

To read the other letters I've written to James, just click on the letter tag under the title of this post.