Wednesday was a doozy of a day. James napped for 45 minutes, woke up grumpy and was pushing limits all day long. I felt like his entire existence was full of the word "no" but I had no other choice when he'd stick his hand into the toilet, then move to jumping on the couch, then cry at me that he wanted up when my hands were full, only to lift him and for him to want down.
The worst part of the day was the running into the street. Oh dear god, the running into the street...
With the weather being divine, we've spent nearly every extra minute outside. Most of the time we have a fantastic time. Walking, looking at rocks and "bulldozers" (which is his new favorite word) and we have no issues whatsoever. It's only when he looks at me over his shoulder with a little mischievous (devilish) grin and takes off like a track star towards the road. I chase after him yelling "NO!" every single time, yet he does it again and again.
Then on Wednesday afternoon he took off. A car was coming up the street, and it was moving fast. I had no time to think. I took after him screaming no, trying to flag down the car. I caught him. James was unharmed, the car had seen him and slowed, and instead of being angry at James I was crying. What if something had happened to my little boy?! (even typing this, the tears are rolling down my cheeks). What if the car had hit him and I was dealing with a dead child? I sobbed, for like 20 minutes. I can not bear the thought.
I pleaded with him to stay out of the road. James saw how upset I was and cried too.
He hugged me.
I thought maybe, just maybe, we'd turned a corner in this running into the street battle.
And then he did it again twenty minutes later.
I called E sobbing. I am not a crier (unless I'm pregnant, I guess) and poor E had no idea what to say.
This weekend we are starting time outs at our house. We don't spank and obviously telling him "NO" and seriously as we can is just not working.
No photos on this post? I'm working on another with a lot of photos, I promise.
*Off to wipe my tear stained face and blow my now snotty nose.**
the perfect end to summer
2 months ago
oh that is SO scary! I feel your pain... i've dealt with similar issues with my kids around that age too. I would most definitely start time outs... maybe that will help. I'm hesitant to give advice, just 'cause every child is so different - it's hard to know what will be effective for your sweet guy. I used to take Jake on walks before the AZ summer time hit (now TOO hot!)- but he ran into the street a few times (luckily no cars were around), but after the second time, I told him we had to go home, so we did. The next time we went out, I told him that if he ran into the street, we would go straight home, no warnings. That worked - amazingly. You just never know. 2 year olds are CRAZY!! My jake threw my ipod into the bathtub yesterday and now it's broken. Hoping at 3, he'll be better! haha.
ReplyDeleteNext time call me! Maybe a change of scenery will help him and talking to another mom will help you!
ReplyDeleteI so feel your pain! I have days exactly like that. Somedays Avi is such a joy and there are days where I just can't bear the tantrums and the whining -dear god the whining. I felt so bad the other day because the non stop whining finally got to me and I yelled at Avi pretty hard and then I started sobbing and then he started sobbing and then I called J and he didn't know what to do! Who knew that someone who weighs less than 30lbs can be such a pain
ReplyDeleteHere are a few tricks I learned working with kids then transitioned them to my home.
ReplyDeleteFor a child James age running away is a game. Rather than no, try yelling STOP. Teach him stop as a game away from danger. We used this song to teach stop to kids 18-months to 5-years who did not speak English.
I'm turning, turning, turning
I'm turning all around.
(slowly turn self in a circle)
I'm turning, turning, turning
I'm turning all around.
I'll turn and turn and turn and then I'll STOP! (as you start to yell STOP, bend over at waist and slap your knees, remain still with hands on your knees for a moment then start the next verse).
I'm hopping, hopping, hopping
I'm hopping up and down.
I'm hopping, hopping, hopping
I'm hopping up and down.
I'll hop and hop and hop and then I'll STOP!
Marching all around
Twisting, clapping, swimming,
Laughing all the time. Whatever you can think of. Always bending, slapping the knees, keeping hands on your knees and being still before the next verse.
Two or three verses is about all a big person can take. You end the song with:
I'll turn and turn and turn and then sit down.
The song is fun but what you are
doing is teaching him to stop and grab his knees. Try singing the song at various places and times during the day so that whenever he hears "STOP" he bends and grabs his knees.
A few hundred repetitions and he will get it. You will laugh the first time you yell stop (when not singing) and he bends over and grabs his knees.
The next thing is harder. Stop chasing him when he runs. Take the game out of running away. Start in the back yard where he cannot get hurt. When he looks back, smiles and heads for the hills, yell STOP. Bend and grab your knees. He will eventually get it. If he runs, do not move. Wait until he comes back to you. Say, "I asked you to stop. You did not. We are going inside." Then do your time out.
Now that he is older it is time to begin replacing the word no with instructions. Something like if he is kicking or climbing-- Feet stay on the floor.
Biting-- No biting. Teeth are for eating breakfast, lunch, treats.
Hitting-- No hitting. Hands are for fixing, doing, helping, being gentle.
Good luck and happy turning.
Do you know the CD or artist for that song? I used to use it all the time in my classroom, then lost my copy. My email is Sarah.Lauducci@gmail.com
DeleteAw....I feel bad for you. I know what you're going through! Time-outs are a good place to start. I put the 2-year-old I babysit in the first time-outs she's ever had and it cured her from her disobedience (for the most part)...and now that she knows what a 'time out' is...all I have to do is tell her "No, and do you want a time out?" and she'll back away from whatever she was doing, telling me "No, no, no, no!" It works wonders, and I'm sure it will assist in James's issues too!! I'm so glad that the car saw him and slowed down.
ReplyDelete