Funny things I said as a kid

While setting up our library I flipped through some old photo albums my mom put together years ago. The year that I was three years old she kept a calendar and each day wrote either what we were doing or funny things I said. I love this idea, and want to do one myself when I have children. Anyway, reading it yesterday made me laugh out loud! I was such a funny kid.

Here are a few of the things I said:

• "Mommy, when we have the new baby (my brother Brandon) let's name him Santa Claus" only a three year old would think Santa Claus is a good name for a baby. My poor brother would kill me if we named him Santa.
• I said "I'm not a basket case!" I'm not sure where I heard the term 'basket case', or if it was in reference to me, but alas, "I'm not a basket case!
• I told my mom "I love her eleven bits". Boy good thing too, I don't know what would happen if I only loved her ten bits.
  
• I told my dad "not to slurp, it is bad manners." I still say this, mostly to my husband.
  
• "Daddy, it is hard being a big girl." Boy, I was so wise beyond my years. It is hard being a big girl.
  
• I called my grandma "the old lady." Well it's true, right? Especially compared to me, when I was only three. Everyone older than five was really old.
  
• Remember how I mentioned that I named all my dolls awesome names like Soft Baby and Big Baby. Well one day I told my mom "Soft Baby is being a pain in the ass." Poor Soft Baby, I'm sure she was a nice girl.
  
• "There's sperm in my juice." Wow, just wow. I sure hope I was wrong.
  
• One day in December we went to visit Santa. Afterwords I said "Santa didn't bite or lick me when I sat on his lap." That, I can say, is a very good thing.
  
• "Mom, if your underpants go any lower I'm going to see your butt hole." Haha!! What an awesome three year old I was.
• "Wouldn't it be nice if the lights on police cars were pink and purple?" I have to say, that would be kinda nice.
• "Mom, you look fat, and always will." How cruel a kid can be, but it is funny.