On Monday I found out one of my very best friends is pregnant again. This will put her second baby exactly a year behind Juliet. I am so very excited for her, and was thrilled to hear the news. I also heard the very exciting news that James's bedroom would be featured on Apartment Therapy, which is so exciting and so BIG! I was ecstatic, at the top of the world. Plus, of course, it was my anniversary on Monday, so things were really looking up.
Then on Tuesday morning I got a text that changed everything. My sweet wonderful friend that was 36 weeks pregnant delivered her daughter and she was stillborn. My heart stopped. Only days before we'd talked about baby nap schedules, and nursing, and the thought that at anytime she could be a mother of two. Now this. How could anybody ever go on? How could you recover from the loss of a child? I cried most the day, and the haunting thoughts have yet to leave me. Please send some love and peace to my dear friend who is going through the hardest time of her life. Right now, as I type this, she is planning her daughter's funeral instead of nursing her baby. There are no words, it hurts so much.
This news has shaken me to the core. I've hugged my babies a little tighter and fallen asleep crying for how very unfair it all is.
Really, is there any reasonable transition to photos of my smiling children? Nope. So I won't even try. I'll just jump right in, here is what I've been doing the last two weeks:
1. "Can I spray Juliet with the hose?" Umm, no. At least he asked, right? 2. Birthday dinner with E's family at our all time favorite Indian Restaurant. So so good.
3. Another day, another river, more rocks to throw in. 4. Baby lashes.
5. A screen shot of my fame. ;) 6. Fourth of July lemonade at the cabin.
7. When did my boy get so big? 8. I've had a mystery stomach problem for over ten years, finally I figured out it was my gallbladder. So, since I hit our huge health insurance deductible with Juliet's birth we decided now's as good a time as any to get it out. Yikes. Surgery date has yet to be set. Wish me the best of luck.
9. I could never tire of this face. 10. The other day in the playground Juliet kept dipping her toes into the gravel. She loved it. She's look down and watch her toes make circles in the dirty pebbles.
11. Riverside playdate. Do you think two year olds like throwing rocks? 12. Juliet chills riverside. Love her little crossed ankles and huge amazing baby thighs.
13. Getting ready to relax in the backyard post kiddo bedtime. 14. After taking a 5 month break (due to Juliet) we signed up for Gymboree again. Nothing is better than jumping like a crazy man in an air conditioned gym when it's 100 degrees outside.
15. The morning I found out about my friend's baby I had grand plans to take James to a new park, however after I heard the news, and spent a good while crying, I decided some homemade sidewalk chalk paint would be the morning activity. At least he liked it. 16. In six months of throwing rocks in the river James has never wanted to get wet. It all changed the other day when he confidently waked into the river. Oh boy...
To see all my Instagram photos (yes, there are more!) check out my feed here. Or follow me at HappierStill.
Have a good week, kiss your babies extra, and please say "I love you" to the ones that you care about.
xoxo
**hugs**
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your friend, I can't even imagine the pain. She will be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteAs a Mommy who lost twins due to stillbirth my heart is heavy for your friend. It is not a group any woman wants to be a part of. Please tell her of of the support group, Share Parents of Utah. They were my rock.
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